well I can't set my house on fire every night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
