it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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