She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
