I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
