I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
