gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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