I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
