I think I died a long time ago.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
