i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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