That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
