eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
