I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
