you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
