11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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