Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
