I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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