Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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