I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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