I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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