I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
