She's JV to your varsity
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
