Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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