So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need help removing her.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
