so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
