HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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