I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
