Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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