He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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