Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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