It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
