the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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