I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just cropdusted the office
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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