Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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