Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
