We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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