problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
