the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
