More tranny stories later!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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