Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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