Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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