She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
