It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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