Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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