oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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