Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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