Just cropdusted the office
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
