I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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