I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
