He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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