Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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