Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
